Fun Fact: Did you know that some research says that women need to say almost 3 times as many words as men do in a single day? Not only that, but the male brain is not wired to hear all of the words his wife needs to say. Sounds pretty challenging, right? Don’t worry though, it really is possible to communicate well with your spouse. Watch below for some quick tips.
The last one is really important! It’s easy to get upset or get our feelings hurt when we think we’re not being heard. Keep in mind that the reasons for this could be that your brains (and therefore how you view the world) are really different from one another. Learn to pull on the strengths that you each have and take joy in your differences!
Where is one area that you and your spouse struggle to communicate well?
I recently had the opportunity to meet Dr. Christine Bacon, host of Breakfast With Bacon. Her radio show is dynamic! She has had some great guests on that have talked about topics such as marriage, relationships, conversion, forgiveness, parenting and so many other important life concerns! Dr. Bacon is incredibly friendly and kind. From just moments on the phone with her I’m sure we would have a blast hanging out over a cup of coffee.
She has invited me to be a guest on her program this Friday at 11 AM EST. If you’re local, you can listen in at AM 111o. If you’re not local, or if you just prefer the web, listen in at www.breakfastwithbacon.com. It’s sure to be a great show as we talk all about love, marriage, and sex from a Christian perspective. If you’ve been curious how a Christian therapist can talk about marriage and sex, you do not want to miss this! You’re in for an encouraging and uplifting message for sure.
Update: It was so much fun being a radio show guest and we really hit it off. We talked a little about what got me started as a therapist, what spurred my interest in sex therapy, and a little about the affair recovery process. We both have a heart for working with those that have been through affairs so you are not going to want to miss that discussion. We also talked briefly about hook-up culture and the issues with that lifestyle. Listen in to the replay right here: http://www.drchristinebacon.com/radio/yes-virginiaa-christian-sex-therapist-is-such-a-thing
Don’t forget, you can ask anonymous questions right here on the site or on Dr. Bacon’s site. We’re looking forward to making this a regular event and answering the top questions anonymously. 🙂
One of my favorite things to talk about is how different men and women are and how those differences can really be seen in our communication patterns. Communication is so difficult for most couples, that basically everyone I’ve ever seen has listed “difficulty with communication” as one of the bigger problems they have. And, this isn’t just true of people I work with. Even as a counselor my husband and I have our fair share of communication difficulties.
Dr. Amen, a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing mental health conditions through brain scans, has research to show that men and women really are wired differently. These differences have the potential to cause miscommunication and upset feelings. But here’s the good news. Once you know that the differences exist, they are so much easier to navigate!
Before we get started though, check out this short video. It’s under 2 minutes long!!! (more…)
Did you know that in about 1/3 of marriages, the wife has the higher sex drive? And while that isn’t always necessarily a problem for the wife to have the higher drive, those women who find that their husbands rarely engage them in a sexual relationship can become depressed or suffer from low self-esteem.
What a woman believes about her husband’s lack of desire for her can can determine how she sees the relationship as a whole. It’s important for wives to understand that there can be several reasons why their husband may not be interested in sex.
In the article above (click the title above or click here), I wrote about several reasons why men may not want to have sex, and none of them have to do with pornography or affairs. If you are wondering why your husband hasn’t been as responsive to you as you would like him to be, I encourage you to read the article. Jump back on here afterward and let me know your thoughts.
What have you heard is the primary reason that a husband may have lost his sex drive?
Want more ideas for play?
While the ideas in the video for play are great, they may take more time than you have outside of the weekend.
Even so, a busy schedule doesn’t mean that you have to neglect playtime with your spouse. Below are some ways you can play even if you’re a little short on time.
Flirting by app:
Have you downloaded bitmoji yet? This app is a great way to be playful and flirty with your spouse. You create an avatar that looks like you and then send the pre-generated bitmojis through text. The app is available for both Android and iPhone, so go check it out and have fun with it.
Laugh with each other:
Did you know that couples who laugh together are more like to call their marriage “happy” than those who don’t? You can generate laughter through silly stories, sending funny videos to one another, or telling jokes. Use whatever method feels most true to your personalities.
Turn on some music and have a little two-person dance party. You can even include this kids in this one if they’re around. Bonus point if you do an award-winning lip synch at the same time. Lip-synching happens to be one of my skills that I don’t often get to showcase outside of the home. 😉
Whatever you choose to do, don’t wait until the weekend to have some fun in your marriage. The time is always right for a little bit of play.
What are some ideas you and your spouse have for playing together?