Communication in Marriage

How gender affects our communication

male, female, communication

One of my favorite things to talk about is how different men and women are and how those differences can really be seen in our communication patterns. Communication is so difficult for most couples, that basically everyone I’ve ever seen has listed “difficulty with communication” as one of the bigger problems they have. And, this isn’t just true of people I work with. Even as a counselor my husband and I have our fair share of communication difficulties

Dr. Amen, a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing mental health conditions through brain scans, has research to show that men and women really are wired differently. These differences have the potential to cause miscommunication and upset feelings. But here’s the good news. Once you know that the differences exist, they are so much easier to navigate!

Before we get started though, check out this short video. It’s under 2 minutes long!!! (more…)

Dr. Jessica McCleese is a wife, a licensed psychologist, and a sexual educator with specialized training in sex therapy who works with Christian couples looking to improve their marriages and their sex lives using biblically-based principles. Jessica serves on the advisory board for Millennials for Marriage, is an educator through the Christian Association of Sexual Educators, and a licensed psychologist at her private practice in Norfolk, VA. She has a unique ability to connect with others and lead them through practical steps they can take to see improvements in their marriage and currently serves people internationally through her work at BeFullyWell.com.

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My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me

Did you know that in about 1/3 of marriages, the wife has the higher sex drive? And while that isn’t always necessarily a problem for the wife to have the higher drive, those women who find that their husbands rarely engage them in a sexual relationship can become depressed or suffer from low self-esteem.

What a woman believes about her husband’s lack of desire for her can can determine how she sees the relationship as a whole. It’s important for wives to understand that there can be several reasons why their husband may not be interested in sex.

In the article above (click the title above or click here), I wrote about several reasons why men may not want to have sex, and none of them have to do with pornography or affairs. If you are wondering why your husband hasn’t been as responsive to you as you would like him to be, I encourage you to read the article. Jump back on here afterward and let me know your thoughts.

What have you heard is the primary reason that a husband may have lost his sex drive?

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Is your marriage fun? Add some play!

Want more ideas for play?

While the ideas in the video for play are great, they may take more time than you have outside of the weekend.

Even so, a busy schedule doesn’t mean that you have to neglect playtime with your spouse. Below are some ways you can play even if you’re a little short on time.

Flirting by app:

Have you downloaded bitmoji yet? This app is a great way to be playful and flirty with your spouse. You create an avatar that looks like you and then send the pre-generated bitmojis through text. The app is available for both Android and iPhone, so go check it out and have fun with it.

Laugh with each other:

Did you know that couples who laugh together are more like to call their marriage “happy” than those who don’t? You can generate laughter through silly stories, sending funny videos to one another, or telling jokes. Use whatever method feels most true to your personalities.

Dance together:

Turn on some music and have a little two-person dance party. You can even include this kids in this one if they’re around. Bonus point if you do an award-winning lip synch at the same time. Lip-synching happens to be one of my skills that I don’t often get to showcase outside of the home. 😉

Whatever you choose to do, don’t wait until the weekend to have some fun in your marriage. The time is always right for a little bit of play.

Discuss!

What are some ideas you and your spouse have for playing together?

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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How To Have The Sex Talk…With Your Spouse

Happy couple smiling at one another

When is the last time you heard some information about sex that gave you insight into your spouse’s desires in the bedroom? For most couples, this information comes from anywhere but their own marriages. We read blogs, listen to podcasts, watch TV and movies, and look at the headlines of magazines as we wait in line to buy groceries. But, an overwhelmingly small number of couples actually talk about their own sexual desires with one another. This is disappointing, because I really believe Christians should have a fulfilling sex life.

Talking about sex is hard!

One of the reasons struggle with this talk is because we’re under the impression that sex should come fairly easy for couples that love one another. Newlywed couples expect that they are the only one’s that have problems. Those married for a while start to believe that an unsatisfying sex life is such a norm for them that they have no expectations for change. Both of these situations makes the sex talk hard.

You’re not alone if you want sex to be more enjoyable than it currently is but you just don’t know how to bring yourself to express those desires. We all have a tendency to run and hide when it’s time to face a difficult conversation. We get in patterns where it is much easier to hide from the rejection we’re sure we’ll face if we honestly talk about our needs and desires in the marriage. This is especially true when it comes to sex. But, couples that are able to talk openly about their sexual relationship report a higher level of marital satisfaction and closeness. What a good reason to have that uncomfortable conversation! (more…)

Dr. Jessica McCleese is a wife, a licensed psychologist, and a sexual educator with specialized training in sex therapy who works with Christian couples looking to improve their marriages and their sex lives using biblically-based principles. Jessica serves on the advisory board for Millennials for Marriage, is an educator through the Christian Association of Sexual Educators, and a licensed psychologist at her private practice in Norfolk, VA. She has a unique ability to connect with others and lead them through practical steps they can take to see improvements in their marriage and currently serves people internationally through her work at BeFullyWell.com.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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Been a While? How to Recharge Your Sex Life

It may seem a little strange to have a blog on a marriage site about returning to sex when it’s been a while, but  many, many couples report that they have little to no sex in their marriage. This can be the case for several reasons; chronic illness that makes sex difficult or painful, emotional pains in the relationship, busy schedules, or a lack of attraction for one another.

Eventually, most couples who are not having sex would like to start having sex. But, even when both feel that way it can be difficult to get started on their journey to intimacy. Here are just  few tips to make that easier.

Start with talking about sex:

Couples often struggle to be honest with one another about their marital intimacy. It can feel incredibly intimidating to tell your spouse, “I’m not happy with our sex life.” This is even more difficult for couples who don’t talk about other areas of pain within the marriage. Even so, I encourage you to speak both truthfully and gently with your spouse. (more…)

Dr. Jessica McCleese is a wife, a licensed psychologist, and a sexual educator with specialized training in sex therapy who works with Christian couples looking to improve their marriages and their sex lives using biblically-based principles. Jessica serves on the advisory board for Millennials for Marriage, is an educator through the Christian Association of Sexual Educators, and a licensed psychologist at her private practice in Norfolk, VA. She has a unique ability to connect with others and lead them through practical steps they can take to see improvements in their marriage and currently serves people internationally through her work at BeFullyWell.com.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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