Book Review Time!

Dr. J reading marriage books

I seriously love to read! Like, seriously! I have an app on my phone right now with 292 books that I plan on reading. I would maybe even eventually read all of those if I didn’t keep adding more.

It’s a great feeling when I read a book I love and a bit of a let down when I feel like I have to trudge through one that isn’t so great. So, since people often ask about my resources, I thought I’d share this book review right here. It seems like a January kind-of thing to do. 🙂

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Turning Toward Your Spouse for a Stronger Marriage

Couple looking at one another and smiling

Have you ever heard of Karen Horney? She was a psychoanalyst that passed away in 1952, but her theories and the way she conceptualized relationships are still widely used today. Short history lesson: She disagreed with Freud and began teaching that men and women were not inherently different, but that society simply raised them to be different. While her focus was never on creating a strong marriage, her theories are quite helpful for relationships.

The reason her views are important is because she believed that all people could choose one of three way to react to and interact with one another: turning toward, turning against, or turning away. Here are some examples of what each one of those looks like, and what you should be doing to have a strong marriage.

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When Your Spouse “Makes You Angry”

How to have less anger in your marriage.

husband and wife angry and yelling

I was asked a couple of weeks ago to spend some time focusing on anger. In fact, angry feelings have been a recurring theme with the people that I work with for quite a while. I work primarily with couples and I’ve seen more than one person straight up walk out of session or yell so loudly people in surrounding offices were concerned, and I’ve had several eye-witness accounts of spouse’s name-calling, cursing, and getting red in the face trying to explain an injustice done to them.

If you’ve noticed my picture you know that I’m “about a buck ten” as my daddy would say. My small size is one reason that my office neighbors grow concerned when they hear loud voices coming from my office. And, I admit, I sometimes get a little concerned too. Anger is dangerous. People get hurt. Sometimes physically, almost always emotionally.

Experts say that anger is a secondary emotion because when a person gets angry, there is an underlying emotion present.

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