Change Your Focus – Change Your Marriage

Couple using binoculars to focus their attention.

As a therapist, I often talk to couples about their goals for our work together or how I can be most helpful. Couples typically say something along the lines of improving their communication, fighting less, or working through issues regarding their intimate lives. Many couples say something along the lines of, “We’re good except for our _______.” You can fill in that blank for yourself. The only problem with this is, there is rarely a couple who actually knows that main thing they need to work on. Not really knowing is not a weakness. It’s simply human nature. We don’t always know where to focus. 

Illustration Time!!!

Alright, I want you to take just a couple of minutes (literally) and watch the video below. Seriously. Please take the one minute and 41 seconds needed to watch the video because it makes an incredibly strong point for the rest of this article.

So, how’d you do?

The reason that half of us miss the unexpected events in the video is because our focus is on one task or event.

So often, we do the same in our marriage. We focus ourselves on one event (communication, arguments, our sexual relationship) and we briefly forget that humans are complex individuals and a simple solution just doesn’t seem to work.

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Breaking Bad Habits is Key to a Happy Marriage

Modernity - A Confidence Development Agency by Tamisha Ford
July 31, 2016

I just wanted to take a quick moment to share this article with you that I wrote over at Modernity. Just click on the link to go straight to the article. 

Tamisha Ford, the creator of Modernity, aims to empower women to have the confidence they desire. I’ve just decided to be a monthly contributor to her blog where I’ll discuss relationship health and total body wholeness.

This month’s article is extremely relevant because it describes why our relationships sometimes remain toxic. Take a glance at this article and see if there are changes you need to make in your marriage to get yourselves to a healthier place.

Then, leave a comment and let me know what you think. What will you do to begin breaking some bad relationship habits?