I recently finished reading Gary Thomas’ book, A Lifelong Love. The text at the bottom of the cover simply asks, “What if Marriage is About More Than Just Staying Together?”
One of the reasons I love this book is because Mr. Thomas beautifully expresses some of the same thoughts that I have. I’ve also written about marriage being about more than the feeling of being “in love” and believe with absolute certainty that feeling like you love your spouse or that you should stay committed to your marriage because of the Biblical principle to do so, simply isn’t enough to maintain a fulfilling marriage.
Before writing this book, Mr. Thomas also wrote the book Sacred Marriage, where he discussed the truth that marriage wasn’t designed to make us happy as much as it was to make us holy. And while I loved that book also, I felt that it was somewhat limited in not describing how we can also be happy in marriage. This newest book, A Lifelong Love, does a fantastic job of also showing that we can be happy – truly happy, in marriage when we practice the simple principle of loving well.
In chapter ten, Mr. Thomas talks about the importance of building true intimacy in marriage. He says, “…a good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.” I agree 100% with this statement. It isn’t always easy, but making your marriage good should definitely be a priority.
I encourage you to grab a copy of Mr. Thomas’ book, A Lifelong Love. I truly believe it will bless you and your marriage.
My prayer for you is that you do indeed have a lifelong love in your spouse!
Sit on back, grab a cup of your favorite tea, and join me on this little trip down memory lane to see how an unnecessary and expensive teapot helped me and my hubby learn to communicate better.
First, a bit of background information. In 2012, Jacob and I decided to move from Virginia, where we were both finishing school, to Texas, so Jacob could get to know my family better. We did a little cost/benefit analysis for several situations and decided our best bet was to sell everything, save as much money as possible, and take the leap of faith that we’d have jobs soon after our move.
By the way, when I say sell ALL of our stuff, I really mean it. We even sold our cars. We took with us only what fit in a couple of carry-on bags, a couple of checked bags, and a few boxes of books and pictures that we mailed to my parent’s home before moving and hopped on a plane.
Remember the goal here – get rid of unnecessary stuff and save a lot of money to prepare for a big move.
Be careful of communicating with one another when you’re tired, moody, or sick.
My husband likes to joke that I stalked him and he saw me hiding in the bushes. Literally, that has NEVER happened. Metaphorically though, I probably go into hiding more often than I even realize. Vulnerability is scary!
I haven’t tried too hard to hide my vulnerabilities on this blog (I’ve written about it here, and here), but even so, many of them remain hidden. Vulnerability hurts. And who of us really wants to show our brokenness?
We all have some level of brokenness though. Even if you can’t think of any negative events in your past, your own sinful nature creates a cycle of “naked, afraid, and hiding.” We simply all fall into that cycle. We can even read the first instance of this as early as the third chapter of the Bible. When Adam and Eve decided to eat the forbidden fruit, they were immediately aware of their own brokenness and vulnerability. They were scared of God, even though they had walked with him before this moment. Instead of facing Him, they covered themselves with leaves and hid in the bushes.
While the message of Adam and Eve is certainly specifically about the fall of man, there is a lesson that goes even beyond the fall – when we’re aware of our vulnerability, we become fearful and want to hide.