One of my favorite things to talk about is how different men and women are and how those differences can really be seen in our communication patterns. Communication is so difficult for most couples, that basically everyone I’ve ever seen has listed “difficulty with communication” as one of the bigger problems they have. And, this isn’t just true of people I work with. Even as a counselor my husband and I have our fair share of communication difficulties.
Dr. Amen, a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing mental health conditions through brain scans, has research to show that men and women really are wired differently. These differences have the potential to cause miscommunication and upset feelings. But here’s the good news. Once you know that the differences exist, they are so much easier to navigate!
Before we get started though, check out this short video. It’s under 2 minutes long!!!
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Family Life Canada
June 15, 2017
Want more ideas for play?
While the ideas in the video for play are great, they may take more time than you have outside of the weekend.
Even so, a busy schedule doesn’t mean that you have to neglect playtime with your spouse. Below are some ways you can play even if you’re a little short on time.
Flirting by app:
Have you downloaded bitmoji yet? This app is a great way to be playful and flirty with your spouse. You create an avatar that looks like you and then send the pre-generated bitmojis through text. The app is available for both Android and iPhone, so go check it out and have fun with it.
Laugh with each other:
Did you know that couples who laugh together are more like to call their marriage “happy” than those who don’t? You can generate laughter through silly stories, sending funny videos to one another, or telling jokes. Use whatever method feels most true to your personalities.
Turn on some music and have a little two-person dance party. You can even include this kids in this one if they’re around. Bonus point if you do an award-winning lip synch at the same time. Lip-synching happens to be one of my skills that I don’t often get to showcase outside of the home. 😉
Whatever you choose to do, don’t wait until the weekend to have some fun in your marriage. The time is always right for a little bit of play.
What are some ideas you and your spouse have for playing together?
When is the last time you heard some information about sex that gave you insight into your spouse’s desires in the bedroom? For most couples, this information comes from anywhere but their own marriages. We read blogs, listen to podcasts, watch TV and movies, and look at the headlines of magazines as we wait in line to buy groceries. But, an overwhelmingly small number of couples actually talk about their own sexual desires with one another. This is disappointing, because I really believe Christians should have a fulfilling sex life.
Talking about sex is hard!
One of the reasons struggle with this talk is because we’re under the impression that sex should come fairly easy for couples that love one another. Newlywed couples expect that they are the only one’s that have problems. Those married for a while start to believe that an unsatisfying sex life is such a norm for them that they have no expectations for change. Both of these situations makes the sex talk hard.
You’re not alone if you want sex to be more enjoyable than it currently is but you just don’t know how to bring yourself to express those desires. We all have a tendency to run and hide when it’s time to face a difficult conversation. We get in patterns where it is much easier to hide from the rejection we’re sure we’ll face if we honestly talk about our needs and desires in the marriage. This is especially true when it comes to sex. But, couples that are able to talk openly about their sexual relationship report a higher level of marital satisfaction and closeness. What a good reason to have that uncomfortable conversation!
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It may seem a little strange to have a blog on a marriage site about returning to sex when it’s been a while, but many, many couples report that they have little to no sex in their marriage. This can be the case for several reasons; chronic illness that makes sex difficult or painful, emotional pains in the relationship, busy schedules, or a lack of attraction for one another.
Eventually, most couples who are not having sex would like to start having sex. But, even when both feel that way it can be difficult to get started on their journey to intimacy. Here are just few tips to make that easier.
Start with talking about sex:
Couples often struggle to be honest with one another about their marital intimacy. It can feel incredibly intimidating to tell your spouse, “I’m not happy with our sex life.” This is even more difficult for couples who don’t talk about other areas of pain within the marriage. Even so, I encourage you to speak both truthfully and gently with your spouse.
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