Marriage God’s Way: A Book Review

Marriage God's Way Book CoverI recently, within the last few months, met a pastor named Scott LaPierre, who is the author of Marriage God’s Way. Now when I say met, what I really mean is a virtual introduction. We’re both bloggers for the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association and through that common network we’ve become friends. He’s actually written on this blog on two occasions:

After reading his posts on my blog, I decided to read his book as well. While I’ve briefly reviewed it on Goodreads and Amazon, I wanted to give a slightly fuller review on my site. Also, one of my commenters will receive their own copy absolutely free. Sweet, right?!

Let me start by giving you a bit of an overall understanding of Pastor Scott’s view of marriage. From the book, you can easily see that he is complementarian in his view. Basically, the complementarian view of marriage holds that “God has created man and woman equal in their essential dignity and human personhood, but different and complementary in function with male headship in the home and in the church.”

You’ll see the complementarian view woven throughout the book. In fact, after one of his posts on my site, I had a reader express some upset feelings regarding this role. Don’t worry about that part too much. I’ve read this book, and whether you hold strictly to this view or not, I assure you that you’ll be challenged to improve your marriage and be encouraged that it’s possible. Here are a few examples why…

Pastor Scott’s book overflows with Scripture.

I’ve read many marriage books that will utilize a Scripture verse here or there to help you understand what the author is teaching, but Pastor Scott’s book points back to The Word on just about every page. I expect you won’t soon find another marriage book that so readily reflects and emphasizes God’s Word for couples. In fact, my comment earlier about having Jacob call me ezer is a prime example of how Pastor Scott expounds on Scripture to make marriage concepts more understandable and relatable.

Along with pointing back to Scripture, Pastor Scott actually teaches the Scriptures. For instance, he discusses the differences between agape and phileo love, shows references in Scripture to these types of love, and helps spouses understand how to apply the Biblical principles to their spouse. Drawing on research from Dr. Eggerichs (author of Love and Respect), he teaches practical ways for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands.

Marriage God’s Way describes both the husband’s leadership role and the wife’s call to submission.

As a therapist, I fully know that men and women can get the meaning of these roles confused. I’ve seen this teaching horribly twisted allowing men to sin in the name of leadership and women to become doormats in the name of submission. In his book, however, Pastor Scott beautifully writes about the Biblical view of marriage, saying that God has placed the man as the head/spiritual leader and that the wife is to be submissive to that leadership. But, this book is far different from other books with the same message because he also spends time explaining what true Godly headship and submission looks like. He answers some tough questions about what to do when your husband doesn’t lead and also helps women understand what submission is and is not.

There’s some great counsel in the book about improving your marriage.

Beyond the actual teaching of a Biblical view of marriage, Pastor Scott spends time sharing struggles in his own marriage and how he and his wife were able to overcome those difficulties. He offers practical advice for both men and women so they can learn to treat their spouse well, and explains the different ways we can express love so that our spouse will better feel loved.

As a wife, what I appreciated most about Pastor Scott’s book, is his ability to speak about submission in a way that doesn’t feel “less than” in the marriage. In fact, by pointing out that the word “helper” is the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit’s role in helping Christians, he shows both husbands and wives that helper is a role that is honorable. What a beautiful way to capture God’s unique design for both husband and wife! Husbands can be encouraged by this book as well, because Pastor Scott helps husbands understand how to lead in a way that will honor God and help their wives feel loved.

I hope that this review encourages you to grab a copy of Marriage God’s Way. I’m sure you’ll find value in it when you do so. While you wait for your copy to come in, I’d encourage you to watch some of the Facebook live videos that he and his wife, Katie, do over on their site. You can send Scott your marriage questions and he and Katie will respond by video.

Freebie Alert!!!
If you want a chance for a free copy of his book, leave a comment below telling me your initial reactions to the book from this review. One winner will be randomly drawn to receive a copy by mail. Edit: This freebie has already been given to the winner. 

Blessings to you and may God enrich your marriage!
Jessica

P.S. Just because I think it’s fun to do so, I’ll soon be reading a book written from a completely different view about marriage. I’ll share that review with you also. 🙂

Dr. Jessica McCleese is a wife, a licensed psychologist, and a sexual educator with specialized training in sex therapy who works with Christian couples looking to improve their marriages and their sex lives using biblically-based principles. Jessica serves on the advisory board for Millennials for Marriage, is an educator through the Christian Association of Sexual Educators, and a licensed psychologist at her private practice in Norfolk, VA. She has a unique ability to connect with others and lead them through practical steps they can take to see improvements in their marriage and currently serves people internationally through her work at BeFullyWell.com.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

19 thoughts on “Marriage God’s Way: A Book Review

  1. Thanks for this review, sounds like a great book I’d love to check out! After years in vocational ministry and now staying home with two kids and writing I’m convinced that simply by having a healthy, loving, godly home and family is countercultural and speaks volumes when it comes to witnessing. I’m always down to learn more about having a great marriage and therefore, life.

    • You’re so right, Kelly. Healthy marriages and families have become abnormal instead of the norm. I fully believe that there are many great authors and bloggers helping with this though. And, each person, like yourself, can be that Godly example that shows healthy is possible!

    • Thank you Kelly!

      I’m encouraged by the way you made your home and children a priority. I’m sure it wasn’t easy giving up some of what was entailed in this life change.

      If you don’t end up winning the free copy, please let me know and I’ll be glad to get you a signed copy of you’d like!

  2. I think some people have a way of thinking of this view as “old fashioned”. They think that because women were created to help and serve and compliment men it means that we aren’t worth as much or that we come second. When in reality if we follow God’s plan for marriage as laid out in scripture, it gives both the husband and the wife the best of their spouse. When two people are constantly serving the other and putting their spouse before themselves you have a marriage that looks like Christ. It won’t always be perfect and there will be issues because we are human BUT God’s design is perfect. This includes His plan for marriage. It makes me so sad to see some women with the mindset of “I won’t serve him” or ” HE should serve me”. It shows the selfishness ni our hearts! I love this view of marriage explained here and is what my husband and I try to live by!

    • Keri, I used to know a pastor that would say, “If you want to know how selfish you are, get married.” We definitely can think we’re doing better than we are in this area until we do get married. Our spouses are excellent spotlights for the Lord to work through. If we’ll listen to one another and love each other, we can learn to be less selfish and more Christ like.

    • Keri,
      You’re comment blessed me. Well said!

      I wish more people – including Christian couples – held to the same view you shared here; one that’s committed to God’s commands.

  3. This review has me really wanting to buy the book. I’ve always been curious what the submissive role as a wife actually means. I know it’s honorable but I’d love to know the actual ways we can be submissive and what it truly means in God’s eyes. Thank you for doing this review! This book has been added to my list of books to read before my husband comes home from his deployment ☺️

  4. We are all growing in our faith and through this we are changing and growing in our marriage. We walk through many different seasons together and sometimes it can be difficult to ‘connect’ with one another, particularly when one person is in a different place in their path than the other. Sometimes it can feel like your running ahead, catching up, or being pulled down! Other times, working parallel with one another. Prayer and communication ! Guiding each other through God’s wisdom every step of the way! Thank you for your review, I’d LOVE to read the book.

  5. I had not heard the term “complimentarian view” before, but I agree with his statement on personhood and marriage roles. This book sounds like a great one to give as a wedding gift. I will have to check it out!

  6. Hello! Thank you for reading this review of Marriage God’s Way. If you’d like to check out the book before buying it, I’m giving away a few chapters and a coupon for 10% off any purchases (book, workbook, or bundle). I pray the book will strengthen your marriage and relationship Christ! The entire accompanying workbook is also available for download!

    Here you go: https://www.instafreebie.com/free/ZexfA