The Insider Scoop: What really happens in a sex therapist’s office!

I chose to study about sex therapy for a couple of reasons; my own brokenness and the brokenness of others. I truly believe that God can cover our hurts and imperfections and allow us to rest in the peace that through Christ we are redeemed. Even when I get the opportunity to share those points with others, it isn’t at all unusual for people to wonder just exactly what happens in the office of a sex therapist, especially the office of a Christian sex therapist. While, I’ve written before about what you might learn in sex therapy, I thought it would be helpful to also explain the basic process.

Like before, I’m going to give a bit of a disclaimer. It takes quite a bit of time and work to actually get certified as a sex therapist. I’m doing my certification through the American Board of Christian Sex Therapists, but I’m not completely through the process. So while I have more training in this area than many of the therapists I know, I’m not a certified sex therapist yet. And…disclaimer over!

The DEC-R Model

The process of sex therapy can be explained through the acronym, DEC-R: Dialogue, Education, Coaching, and Referral. This isn’t a linear process and you’ll likely notice that we move from one domain to the next quite fluidly, going back and forth to each one until you’ve finished the process of therapy.


Part of my job, for anyone who works with me, is just to make the entire process of talking about sexual issues easier. Most people find it quite difficult to share their concerns or disappointment about their sexual lives with their spouse. I work with a couple to create a safe place to speak about sex. 

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